Fostering Tea Session (Hope)
Fostering Tea Session on 29 Sept 2018
HFG foster parent, Hope, shared how she was convicted by James 1:27. She had been helping to run a monthly children’s programme for orphans. She and her husband David began to pray for God's leading for something they would do together. They attended a Focus on the Family Singapore screening of the Dropbox and talk on fostering. This time David felt a strong conviction and they began to explore the possibility of fostering.
They understood that they needed to talk to their whole household because this must be a family decision, a commitment needing everyone’s buy-in. When they began, Hope was homeschooling both of her two daughters, now 13 and 10. David travels 50% of the time which would mean Hope would be the primary caregiver. She also had her longtime helper attend fostering training, which also helped them all understand trauma better and how it affects these children in various ways.
There were challenges as they took on their first foster child who was a 14 year old girl with autism, removed from her home due to domestic violence. It was a very draining and taxing experience but Hope shared how she watched her girls care for this girl and she herself was amazed at her own capacity to love this child. Later, it became apparent that the girl had mental health issues and that it was not safe for her to remain in their home. After this experience, Hope learnt that foster parents need to be prepared to be a child's advocate, to seek additional help when necessary, especially since a child's issues and history may not be fully known at the time of placement.
Their second foster child is a 12 year old girl, who was removed from the care of her mom due to neglect. She didn’t attend school for more than two years and didn't have a home for a time. A month ago their foster daughter told Hope how her classmate told her that she is lucky she doesn't have a dad. This was a reminder of how important David's role is in her life and one of the reasons they began this journey- to restore a child's hope in family.
One of their biggest challenges is building trust with a child who has lived with a lot of uncertainty, but they have sought counselling for this child and are prepared for this to be a long term placement.
Hope also shared how her younger daughter gave a brief speech to their homeschool community about fostering and said it is like a like a never-ending sleep over. She and David can see the positive impact fostering is having on their whole family as they grow to love and accept this new person in their family.