Fostering Tea Session (Joyce)

 

By Joyce (HFG Foster parent, in partnership with The Salvation Army)

We started to have foster children since 2016, post cancer remission after hearing of the alarming number of children in need. Over the years, we’ve had 4 foster children, and currently having 2 foster children both with special needs. My husband and I wake up every morning feeling very blessed with these wonderful children, their love and respect for us is so pure and beautiful. Of course, that was not the case initially - each child’s trauma manifested in their behaviours in different ways and I consider it a miracle to see how much they have grown and overcame. I would say the youngest member of our family is the most amazing miracle yet.

Our foster daughter has been with us for 3 years. When we finally agreed to take her in, we had to accept that it will take a long while to see changes, given the very tough and seemingly unchangeable bad behaviour. We knew the need to persevere and just love her unconditionally. Initially she was diagnosed with global developmental delay (GDD) meaning there was a 2-3 year variance in respect to her true age. But the bigger challenge was behaviour wise - we battled daily from 5am - she would be shouting, screaming, crying, kicking. She was a “gangster-grandma” back then and she acted and sounded the part! At school, she has no motivation whatsoever. We played and spent time a lot and eventually connected to her - this was when she started to transform. She has different therapies for her special needs every week and has suspected dyslexia. Fast forward to today, she is the “sweetest-little-girl” so far from the “gangster-grandma” of old. She is motivated and happy and fun and the past week, she would show us with pride her tests showing perfect scores consistently! She even received an academic award at school for her efforts

Breaking the continued cycle of abuse and failure for their future families and the generations to come - this is our family’s dream. Many times we get deterred with the difficulties that lie ahead, but soon we see that we are even more blessed when we give selflessly. I always encourage people to have a closer look, if just a little bit interested about fostering. Signing up does not mean being a foster parent automatically. The whole process helps parents understand what the journey would mean for them and how to prepare for it. If at all it is not yet the time for you, the knowledge you have about fostering will surely help if you share to others - that person might just be the next foster parent that changes a child’s life for good.