Fostering Tea Session (Michael & Irene)

 

Sharing by Michael and Irene on 26 September 2020, with The Salvation Army Singapore (Gracehaven Fostering).

Michael and Irene decided to foster as newlyweds as they love children and were willing to open their home to children in need. They met while on overseas mission trips helping children who were less fortunate.

The couple first heard about fostering at a roadshow in Nex Shopping centre in May 2016. For a good 6 months, they pondered & prayed about the decision before finally signing up. They initially opted to take only 1 child at a time. But when they saw the great need (we hv another 600 children who still need foster families), they took in a 2nd child who was in need of placement. One thing led to another, and now they are concurrently fostering 4 children!

The couple agree that while each child came with their own set of challenges, this has also helped them to grow in their parenting skills. They were able to discuss and work together to help each child settle in the home, to bond with them and even to win them over. Working together in the fostering journey has helped them forge a closer marital relationship.

Despite these challenges and sacrifices, their sense of responsibility and reliance on God's strength helps them parent each child. They learned that even though they experience fears and doubts along the way, as long they continue to put their trust in God who called them to fostering, He will work it out and things will eventually fall into its right place. They rest in the fact that God is the One who will take care of everything.

What keeps Michael going is his belief that each foster child is loved by God and that each has a bright and successful future ahead. He wants to help them move forward to see that come to pass. He often tells the children how much God loves and blesses them, and encourages them to embrace the notion that they can be successful when they grow up, in terms of being good citizens and helping others in need.

According to Michael and Irene, fostering has helped them to appreciate parenting better as they do not have kids of them own yet. They are now able to understand what their own parents went through and they find themselves resorting to some of their parents’ skillful parenting techniques . In addition, they realise the need to use different parenting styles for each of their foster kids as each is an unique individual. The couple have had to unlearn and relearn parenting strategies since what works on one child does not work on another. One important parenting tip they shared is the importance of setting up structure and routine and the need to be firm to see it through.

To them, parenting is being nurturing to the children under their charge. It is more than just providing shelter; it is seeing them as their own, desiring for them to be their best and providing them the chance to be guided towards success.

Michael and Irene are proof that all you need to care and foster a child is love, forgiveness and seeing each kid as how God sees each - precious!