Fostering Tea Session (Fabian & Bee Cheng)

Sharing by Fabian & Bee Cheng at the joint fostering tea session with Boys' Town on 21 Nov 2020 (online).

It was not an easy decision for Fabian and Bee Cheng to commit to apply to be foster parents. There were worries that they would be unable to cope with the addition of a foster child.

Fabian first mooted the idea of fostering to Bee Cheng as he wanted to make a difference in a social cause with a great need. God has placed a burden in his heart for abused children for many years – he would feel a tinkling in his heart whenever he read news articles on abused children. After serving in the Sound Crew Ministry in Church for 7 years, he felt ready to explore serving in another area.

Bee Cheng was serving in another ministry in Church and was already occupied in other work. She had her own reservations on how the family would adapt to having a foster child in the household. Not knowing the background nor the temperament of the foster child further added to her concerns. When Fabian shared with her about her plans, she felt like she had to start all over again as a parent, when her children are already independent. She was also worried about her energy level in managing the younger children.

When one of the church commitment came to an end, Bee Cheng prayed to God about fostering. God gave her the vision of a growing tree, without the soil. An inner invoice asked her “Are you willing to be the soil for this plant?” All her worries dissolved and she decided to obey God. That was the conviction she needed to make the commitment.

Fabian and Bee Cheng took 3 years to make the decision to open up their house to foster children. They had a family meeting to check with their 3 boys on whether they were willing to support the decision to take in a foster child into their home. They subsequently attended a tea session in 2017, and put up window grilles which were only removed a year and a half ago, to prepare to welcome a foster child.

The couple also took time to attend foster parents’ training. At the training, Fabian was impressed to see expats and even couples with multiple young children having a shared vision of welcoming a foster child into their families. There were also foster families who cared for more than 1 foster child. What he saw challenged the limitations that he unconsciously had, when he first started fostering.

In 2018, Fabian and Bee Cheng got their first placement to care for baby Moses (not his real name), a premature child at 28 weeks. The child was in septic shock and had been admitted into NICU. When they visited Moses at the hospital, Bee Cheng and Fabian’s hearts went out to him immediately. They took him home from at 4 months old. According to the nurse, Moses was the longest resident in the hospital nursery for 4 months with no other visitor other than them.

Back home, Bee Cheng readily took on the never-ending night feeds while Fabian tried to come home early to help out. Moses had diarrhoea after his night feeds, which added to the fatigue of not having enough sleep. Fabian joked that Bee Cheng did not manage to cook much dinner in that 8 months of caring for the baby. Though it was physically draining, it was emotionally rewarding. The family enjoyed the baby’s presence and felt pure joy, celebrating his various milestones and even simple things that the infant could do, such as being able to grip an object using the pincer grip. Through their fostering journey, the family became more closely-knit.

Moses is now a 2 year old toddler who has managed to catch up with his peers, despite being born 3 months premature. By Divine appointment, he allowed Bee Cheng to meet the hospital paediatrician who helped to save Moses’ life when she was sitting with her foster son in the “cry room” during church service, and this encounter was also such an encouragement and affirmation to his doctor. It was also serendipitous that the teacher who coached her son many years ago is also currently her foster son’s teacher. Bee Cheng finds peace in her heart as she believes that these are not coincidences, but signs from God to affirm their decision to foster a child.